If you thought your TV was creepy when it missed you, what if every gadget in your home not only missed you but posted status updates about it? In the four-minute video below (which has been out for a few months), Swedish tech and telecom company Ericsson presents a vision of the future in which a microwave whines about not being used, the sofa bitches that it needs a refresh, and the Roomba taunts the sofa. But through all their bickering, all the sentient appliances and furniture are there for their owner, David, when Sofia cancels their date and he has to order Chinese again. I feel sorry for Dave. In addition to his shitty haircut, his best friends (yes, they're even called his "friends") are lifeless objects whose moronic updates are even worse than the trivial crap in your Facebook feed posted by people you haven't seen in years. Of course, the worst part of the video is its empty promise. Despite what Ericsson is trying to say, the truth is obvious: All the technology in the world won't make your life any better when Sofia is being a total bitch.